This was taken from yesterday’s teaching on Mark 10:1-16. Visit calvary.com for the full teaching audio or video. I have been on a PowerPoint rampage lately. Here is a recap of the five points I mentioned via my incredibly high-tech slides.
Broken hearts, dysfunctional homes, and rising divorce rates often cause us to forget that marriage was a perfect gift from God in the Garden of Eden. Before sin entered the world God instituted the first marriage. In fact, Jesus goes to great lengths to remind the Pharisees and others of that first marriage in Mark 10. These Pharisees, like many in Israel, had centered their ideas of marriage around the law, but Jesus longed to take them back to the original marriage in Genesis 1-2. From that original marriage I believe we can learn some foundational lessons about how to have successful marriages in our day and age.
Be softhearted - Because of the hardness of your hearts he wrote you this precept…but from the beginning of creation (Mark 10:5-6). Jesus clearly taught that hardheartedness was to blame for the “certificate of divorce” passage in Deuteronomy 24. Had the Pharisees been “softhearted” they would have been more concerned with God’s ideal than pushing the limits on divorce. A softhearted marriage will long for God’s best. A softhearted person longs to know God’s ideal scenario. Jesus demonstrates that God’s ideal is that one man and one woman would remain married until death do they part.
Know your roles - God made them male and female (Mark 10:6). In successful marriages the husband and wife recognize they are different from one another, and that those differences lead them to very distinct roles. The husband understands he is called to provide, protect, lead, and to love his wife. The wife understand that she is to follow, submit, and respect her husband. The roles are defined. The roles are understood.
Create a new circle - Leave his father and his mother and be joined to his wife (Mark 10:7). Many call this the “leave and cleave” principle. This obviously takes maturity on the part of the man, but also an ability to defend the new circle that God has formed with his wife. Unwanted advice, ungodly counsel, wicked friendships, and meddling parents should not be allowed inside that inner circle. It must be protected.
Cultivate oneness - No longer two, but one flesh (Mark 10:8). In marriage much of your personal identity is lost and you become one with your spouse. Marriages tend to break down when people behave as two single individuals with distinct and separate goals. When oneness is cultivated physically, emotionally, spiritually, and practically, the marriage has a good chance for great success.
Be covenantal - What God has joined together, let not man separate (Mark 10:9). Ultimately, even though the church and state are involved in marriage, God is the one who presides over every married couple. In other words, God is the tie that binds us together. Not the state, not the church, but God. This view allows a person to see their marriage as an act of devotion, worship, obedience, and stewardship towards God. A covenantal attitude, rather than a contractual attitude, will lead a person to never give up or never give in on their marriage.
In a day where tweets and pop psychology often gives marriages a false sense of direction, only Jesus Christ is able to truly take us to the very core of the matter. As our designer, he understands exactly what is necessary within marriage. Let’s obey Him in our quest for excellent marriages.